I'm writing this post from the #144 CTA bus. Naturally, the #148 bus - the one I should be taking - is directly behind this bus. After a 20 minute wait I was happy to take either bus so I happily boarded this one before I realized the numbers of all 5 buses in line behind this one. It's funny how CTA buses come in bunches of 4 or 5 and then none to be found for the next 10 minutes.
Alas, that's not the point of my post. Instead, I want to discuss how the CTA manages to find the worst in everyone. Why is it, for example, a line can exist for 2 hour long disney rides and in supermarkets but not for public transportation? I was, by far, the one wating the longest for this bus, yet was the last one to board. In fact, I had one girl cut me off in the bee line for the bus that, yes, managed to open his doors 1/2 block before the bus stop. The fastest feet win when it comes to getting a seat.
And chivalry!! Oh my, when it comes to public tranportation it certainly IS dead. After a commute I begin to wonder if my husband really is the last chivilrous man alive. No man will give up his seat for a woman, and they will plow the ladies over in order to get the covetted seat. What's worse is NO ONE gives up their seat for pregnant women. The few times I've seen it done it's always done by a woman that is already a mother. I guess it's because they understand. If these rider's mothers only knew that's how their children behave!
I've had a woman's foot resting on top of mine for the last 2 minutes. She has no plans to move it. I look down at my foot in surprise to see another person's foot - at that point she moves it and apologizes!
It's everyone for themselves on the CTA. Some days I tell myself to be extra cheerful and helpful for that specific commute, but by the time the bus finally arrives my feet are already sore from the 20 minute standing wait. Then, I grab a seat only be be squished in by a 400 lb. woman. Bless her heart, she needs a place to sit, too. I just wish the CTA would accomodate for these things!!
Yes, public commuting in a major city certainly is enough to anger you. Perhaps this is why everyone in Hawaii is so happy, no public transit system. At least I have everyone on the bus staring at me with envy as I tap away on my baby laptop!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Nothing.
Nothing seems worth taking the time to write about. Ha, that sentence can go two ways. This is a point in my life where I lack direction, friends, motivation and exercise. I could go to lunch right now but the walk discourages me. Plus, I have a lack of directions, thus no real idea of where I should be going for lunch. I could invite someone to do lunch with me - but who? And, then there's the ever terrible idea of going to lunch just to have something to do - even if I'm not hungry.
Really, I just want to go to bed.
I obviously need to get involved in something. But what? I've checked Craigslist for activities, but nothing appeals to me - that and my husband wouldn't let me do half of it anyway. I don't feel addicted to Warcraft, actually. I could sit in bed and watch tv all night instead. It's just me looking for something to do, to occupy my time with. If I had friends to do things with - that would be the answer.
How does someone make friends? They join an organization. But, there is nothing that I'm passionate enough about to join. There are no activities that really interest me. Plus, if I decide to do a sport, Tony will want to take part and then it will have to be a sport he agrees with as well. And, if he hates it, we will have to quit. That's all talk, though. I can't even claim that about him when I can't find the motivation to do anything on my own anyway. I tell myself that I don't get up at 5 am to go to the gym because Tony won't want to get up, and he won't want me to go without him. But, that's not true. I wouldn't go anyway.
I am hoping and praying this is the lowest point in my life. But, when will it stop? When will it go away? I'm not doing anything to make my life any better. And, it's the same old story every day.
Really, I just want to go to bed.
I obviously need to get involved in something. But what? I've checked Craigslist for activities, but nothing appeals to me - that and my husband wouldn't let me do half of it anyway. I don't feel addicted to Warcraft, actually. I could sit in bed and watch tv all night instead. It's just me looking for something to do, to occupy my time with. If I had friends to do things with - that would be the answer.
How does someone make friends? They join an organization. But, there is nothing that I'm passionate enough about to join. There are no activities that really interest me. Plus, if I decide to do a sport, Tony will want to take part and then it will have to be a sport he agrees with as well. And, if he hates it, we will have to quit. That's all talk, though. I can't even claim that about him when I can't find the motivation to do anything on my own anyway. I tell myself that I don't get up at 5 am to go to the gym because Tony won't want to get up, and he won't want me to go without him. But, that's not true. I wouldn't go anyway.
I am hoping and praying this is the lowest point in my life. But, when will it stop? When will it go away? I'm not doing anything to make my life any better. And, it's the same old story every day.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Dealing with Bosses
The man. No one enjoys working for the man. I have a theory that those who work for themselves successfully are the happiest people in America. I don't think it's the "have your own hours" bonus that really makes it. When you own your own business you're working the hours of your clients. The rewards for all of your efforts are nice, and certainly sweeter when you know it's all your own doing, but I don't see that as the biggest benefit. No, you can be a high school teacher and get great rewards from your own efforts. The biggest benefit to owning your own company/working for yourself is the lack of the asshole boss.
I'm sure it's difficult being a boss and avoiding the "asshole" stigma. There's always going to be situations where the boss wants something done one way and the employee doesn't agree. The employee can't always get everything his/her way; and that's okay. One can't be upset because his boss doesn't do things his way 100% of the time. At the same time, a boss can't have things her way 100% of the time either. If a boss is to assume that she is always correct and she doesn't need to bend to the viewpoint of others, how can she be successful?
But, this isn't entirely an asshole boss' problem either. No, his problem is the way he rolls his eyes. The stance he takes and the snobby voice he uses as he speaks to his employees. A completely different demeanor than what he uses with his co-workers or clients. When one speaks to his employees as if they are lesser humans - that is what makes an asshole boss.
Most employees can handle not always getting a thank you for a job well done. After all, they are expected to do our jobs well. They can accept that they're not going to get their way 100% of the time, 50% of the time, hell even 25% of the time. They're not the decision makers, and it's not up to them to decide how things are handled. They can even bend to picky things like getting their boss the window seats on the 3 seat side in the exit row of the plain if that's what he wants. He works hard and worked hard to get to where he is, why shouldn't he have these things? It's when they are treated as lesser beings that they start to not give their best to their bosses.
This is my plea to bosses. When you got into your position of "power," did you start it by saying "I want to be an asshole!'" Probably not. I know you have stress that comes with your position, but happy employees will only help you out rather than hinder. And, there's NOTHING that makes you me important in life than your employees. Nothing. Degrees, money, title. . . none of them make one being more important than others.
That the president of the United States has a body guard who is to sacrifice his life in place of the president disgusts me. Do you think the bodyguard's children, wife, or mother wants to trade in the life of their loved one instead of the president? No. Do you think the president's mother loves the president more than the bodyguard's mother loves the bodyguard, based on money, title, power? No. If you believe in God, do you think he will pass more favorable judgment on the president because of his title or "power"? No. These two men are of equal importance in the eyes of those that love them. If the president were to roll his eyes while he talked down to his bodyguard it would be the most ungrateful thing in the world. But, that's what asshole bosses do to their employees on a day to day basis. They rely on the hard work and toil of their employees to successfully live out their career, but then shit on their employees in return. Asshole bosses make everyone in the work place miserable.
But, as always in the world, the employee must change to compensate the boss' attitude because the boss will not change. Asshole.
I'm sure it's difficult being a boss and avoiding the "asshole" stigma. There's always going to be situations where the boss wants something done one way and the employee doesn't agree. The employee can't always get everything his/her way; and that's okay. One can't be upset because his boss doesn't do things his way 100% of the time. At the same time, a boss can't have things her way 100% of the time either. If a boss is to assume that she is always correct and she doesn't need to bend to the viewpoint of others, how can she be successful?
But, this isn't entirely an asshole boss' problem either. No, his problem is the way he rolls his eyes. The stance he takes and the snobby voice he uses as he speaks to his employees. A completely different demeanor than what he uses with his co-workers or clients. When one speaks to his employees as if they are lesser humans - that is what makes an asshole boss.
Most employees can handle not always getting a thank you for a job well done. After all, they are expected to do our jobs well. They can accept that they're not going to get their way 100% of the time, 50% of the time, hell even 25% of the time. They're not the decision makers, and it's not up to them to decide how things are handled. They can even bend to picky things like getting their boss the window seats on the 3 seat side in the exit row of the plain if that's what he wants. He works hard and worked hard to get to where he is, why shouldn't he have these things? It's when they are treated as lesser beings that they start to not give their best to their bosses.
This is my plea to bosses. When you got into your position of "power," did you start it by saying "I want to be an asshole!'" Probably not. I know you have stress that comes with your position, but happy employees will only help you out rather than hinder. And, there's NOTHING that makes you me important in life than your employees. Nothing. Degrees, money, title. . . none of them make one being more important than others.
That the president of the United States has a body guard who is to sacrifice his life in place of the president disgusts me. Do you think the bodyguard's children, wife, or mother wants to trade in the life of their loved one instead of the president? No. Do you think the president's mother loves the president more than the bodyguard's mother loves the bodyguard, based on money, title, power? No. If you believe in God, do you think he will pass more favorable judgment on the president because of his title or "power"? No. These two men are of equal importance in the eyes of those that love them. If the president were to roll his eyes while he talked down to his bodyguard it would be the most ungrateful thing in the world. But, that's what asshole bosses do to their employees on a day to day basis. They rely on the hard work and toil of their employees to successfully live out their career, but then shit on their employees in return. Asshole bosses make everyone in the work place miserable.
But, as always in the world, the employee must change to compensate the boss' attitude because the boss will not change. Asshole.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The Warcraft Awakening
Of all things to spend my time blogging about, I choose World of Warcraft addiction. Ironically, this is actually a very common blog subject. It should come as no surprise that the majority of those blogging about it are indeed World of Warcraft players. I submit the reason for this is because they are so addicted to Warcraft that it is naturally something about which they choose to write.
This leads the reader to question whether or not I am addicted. In fear of being "in denial," I refuse to answer. I'm honestly not sure. Regardless, I do play, and after much pondering last night, I know why I do it. It is for the same reasons why I believe the game is indeed addicting. My hypothesis consists of a mixture of positive stimulation through simple in game successes as well as social interaction in a virtual world where the gamer is unknown.
In the World of Warcraft there are several short term, medium term and long term goals. Every day when you log in to the game you likely complete something successfully. It could be a small success such as leveling an alt a few experience bubbles or farming some gold for your main. Or, it may be completing an epic quest line or earning that last piece of gear to complete your tier six set; both successes that require lots of patience and several hours of effort. Regardless of the type of success, you've accomplished something and it feels good.
This is not the case in real day-to-day lives. Many of us wake up in the morning and drag our butts to work. We don't get congratulations for turning out a memo on time or scrubbing down a floor to a perfect shine. These things are expected of us. And, it doesn't get us anywhere except the ability to keep our job. Perhaps our paychecks are our rewards, but they are the same whether or not we accomplished something special that week. Commission could combat this, except in a commission based position we experience the failures even more deeply than the successes. In WoW though you may not succeed at everything every time, you get to keep trying until you do succeed. And, you can always succeed at SOMETHING every day, every time you play. You get a re-do at any failure - life does not afford this luxury.
When you come home from your long day of work you're faced with making dinner, running errands, or a variety of other un-fun work. We don't get 5 gold for folding the socks or 1,000 reputation points for taking the dog on a walk. Of course, there are advantages to doing these things, but we've learned to ignore the advantages (organized sock drawer or healthy pooch) and consider them just things that are expected of us. Of course, we do entertaining activities in our free time, too. We can enjoy things like television or a game of poker with friends - but aren't these things that are touted as addicting as well? And, let's not concentrate only on those activities that are considered negative addictions. Even things that are "positive" can still be addicting such as working out. I argue that an addiction is inherently bad, but that's an argument for another day. It sees that anything that can potentially provide consistent successes are a breeding ground for addiction. Because Warcraft touts more than you average amount of chance to succeed, it is especially easy to become addicted.
Now, let's take a look at the average gamer and his social life within and outside of virtual reality. Is it a stretch to assume the most addicted players have a limited pool of friends? Or, perhaps they don't have the most challenging jobs? The correlation between a lack of a social life and World of Warcraft gamers can go two ways. They may have given up their friends and family to the game addiction, or they may have turned to World of Warcraft as a means to interact with others because they are not socially apt in real life. This is where my hypothesizing gets sticky. I suggest that the average gamer is already unfulfilled by his current friends and family. Though they may feel they are enough to sustain the gamer, perhaps they should face the ugly truth. This individual is addicted because he's looking for positive reinforcement he can't find elsewhere. Typically friends are a good source of positive interaction.
The same can be said for the gamer's work life. I don't see Warcraft as a common stomping ground for MDs or Wall Street brokers. One could argue lack of time, but someone that is completely fulfilled with his life is probably a naturally busy person. You never see a couch potato excitedly gushing about his fulfilling life. You could also argue that those with successful fulfilled lives are usually older than an addicted video gamer. According to one study, the average age of a World of Warcraft gamer is 28. And, remember that Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard at the tender age of 20 to begin his own software company now known as billion dollar corporation Microsoft.
Perhaps someone lacking a stimulating work life and a fulfilling social life need the constant successes that Warcraft - or really any non-chemically addicting activity - to prove his self worth. We enjoy the feeling of being successful, and being successful often. World of Warcraft is a tool that can be used to reach that feeling. It become addicting to those that have a need for that constant success. I do not believe the creator of World of Warcraft, Blizzard, has actually studied this phenom or designed their game around it. In fact, from what I read, most speculate the game is addicting because it never ends. Though I disagree - because there are many things in life that could go on forever (take stamp collecting as an example), I think Blizzard does expose this fact. They do intentionally offer expansive angles to the game and timely expansion packs as content begins to get old and redundant to the most hardcore players. I don't believe this causes the addiction, but it allows it to continue.
I didn't begin this blog to try and find a World of Warcraft addiction cure. Instead, I wanted to explore the possibility of the game actually being addictive and if so, why. I'll leave the counseling suggestions and the non-Warcraft ego boosting solutions to Psychologists and other professionals. I was just wondering if I am addicted or not and explored the reasons why I might be. No, I still don't have an answer to this. I don't have the best self esteem, but I do find worth in myself. This is probably why in my guild I'm listed as a casual player versus a raider. I don't show up to raids, spending every waking second studying strategies or farming for herbs to make consumables with (that's Warcraft lingo.) But, I do log into the game every day, even if just for a few minutes to check my auctions. It would make for an interesting study if someone had the time. In the meantime my low self-esteemand I are going to enjoy the adventures in Azeroth. Perhaps I'll be hoping for an answer that will peal my fingers from the keyboard and out into the sunshine, or perhaps I'll continue to enjoy the escape for years to come.
This leads the reader to question whether or not I am addicted. In fear of being "in denial," I refuse to answer. I'm honestly not sure. Regardless, I do play, and after much pondering last night, I know why I do it. It is for the same reasons why I believe the game is indeed addicting. My hypothesis consists of a mixture of positive stimulation through simple in game successes as well as social interaction in a virtual world where the gamer is unknown.
In the World of Warcraft there are several short term, medium term and long term goals. Every day when you log in to the game you likely complete something successfully. It could be a small success such as leveling an alt a few experience bubbles or farming some gold for your main. Or, it may be completing an epic quest line or earning that last piece of gear to complete your tier six set; both successes that require lots of patience and several hours of effort. Regardless of the type of success, you've accomplished something and it feels good.
This is not the case in real day-to-day lives. Many of us wake up in the morning and drag our butts to work. We don't get congratulations for turning out a memo on time or scrubbing down a floor to a perfect shine. These things are expected of us. And, it doesn't get us anywhere except the ability to keep our job. Perhaps our paychecks are our rewards, but they are the same whether or not we accomplished something special that week. Commission could combat this, except in a commission based position we experience the failures even more deeply than the successes. In WoW though you may not succeed at everything every time, you get to keep trying until you do succeed. And, you can always succeed at SOMETHING every day, every time you play. You get a re-do at any failure - life does not afford this luxury.
When you come home from your long day of work you're faced with making dinner, running errands, or a variety of other un-fun work. We don't get 5 gold for folding the socks or 1,000 reputation points for taking the dog on a walk. Of course, there are advantages to doing these things, but we've learned to ignore the advantages (organized sock drawer or healthy pooch) and consider them just things that are expected of us. Of course, we do entertaining activities in our free time, too. We can enjoy things like television or a game of poker with friends - but aren't these things that are touted as addicting as well? And, let's not concentrate only on those activities that are considered negative addictions. Even things that are "positive" can still be addicting such as working out. I argue that an addiction is inherently bad, but that's an argument for another day. It sees that anything that can potentially provide consistent successes are a breeding ground for addiction. Because Warcraft touts more than you average amount of chance to succeed, it is especially easy to become addicted.
Now, let's take a look at the average gamer and his social life within and outside of virtual reality. Is it a stretch to assume the most addicted players have a limited pool of friends? Or, perhaps they don't have the most challenging jobs? The correlation between a lack of a social life and World of Warcraft gamers can go two ways. They may have given up their friends and family to the game addiction, or they may have turned to World of Warcraft as a means to interact with others because they are not socially apt in real life. This is where my hypothesizing gets sticky. I suggest that the average gamer is already unfulfilled by his current friends and family. Though they may feel they are enough to sustain the gamer, perhaps they should face the ugly truth. This individual is addicted because he's looking for positive reinforcement he can't find elsewhere. Typically friends are a good source of positive interaction.
The same can be said for the gamer's work life. I don't see Warcraft as a common stomping ground for MDs or Wall Street brokers. One could argue lack of time, but someone that is completely fulfilled with his life is probably a naturally busy person. You never see a couch potato excitedly gushing about his fulfilling life. You could also argue that those with successful fulfilled lives are usually older than an addicted video gamer. According to one study, the average age of a World of Warcraft gamer is 28. And, remember that Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard at the tender age of 20 to begin his own software company now known as billion dollar corporation Microsoft.
Perhaps someone lacking a stimulating work life and a fulfilling social life need the constant successes that Warcraft - or really any non-chemically addicting activity - to prove his self worth. We enjoy the feeling of being successful, and being successful often. World of Warcraft is a tool that can be used to reach that feeling. It become addicting to those that have a need for that constant success. I do not believe the creator of World of Warcraft, Blizzard, has actually studied this phenom or designed their game around it. In fact, from what I read, most speculate the game is addicting because it never ends. Though I disagree - because there are many things in life that could go on forever (take stamp collecting as an example), I think Blizzard does expose this fact. They do intentionally offer expansive angles to the game and timely expansion packs as content begins to get old and redundant to the most hardcore players. I don't believe this causes the addiction, but it allows it to continue.
I didn't begin this blog to try and find a World of Warcraft addiction cure. Instead, I wanted to explore the possibility of the game actually being addictive and if so, why. I'll leave the counseling suggestions and the non-Warcraft ego boosting solutions to Psychologists and other professionals. I was just wondering if I am addicted or not and explored the reasons why I might be. No, I still don't have an answer to this. I don't have the best self esteem, but I do find worth in myself. This is probably why in my guild I'm listed as a casual player versus a raider. I don't show up to raids, spending every waking second studying strategies or farming for herbs to make consumables with (that's Warcraft lingo.) But, I do log into the game every day, even if just for a few minutes to check my auctions. It would make for an interesting study if someone had the time. In the meantime my low self-esteemand I are going to enjoy the adventures in Azeroth. Perhaps I'll be hoping for an answer that will peal my fingers from the keyboard and out into the sunshine, or perhaps I'll continue to enjoy the escape for years to come.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Purpose
I almost began this blog with the notion that the world is filled with things that lack purpose. I then started to list these purposeless things, such as jelly bracelets or nipples on men. Then I realized that though these items serve a purpose I may deem ridiculous, they do have a purpose. Jelly bracelets are tragically hip fashion statements for pre-teen girls, while pierced nipples on men make their own tragic statement.
Thus, though I was going to delve into the lack of purpose this blog may have for its readers, it certainly holds a purpose for me. The problem was to identify its purpose. I am interjecting here that I am slightly horrified by the fact that my first blog entry is indeed a "welcome to my blog" post, but I require it in order to find my own direction. I hope to one day become an English professor for a university. The prestige of this university or my tenure do not matter to me. My career happiness does.
Thus, I am beginning this blog to practice my writing. I have several years of study ahead o me, and I hope to blog throughout all of these years. Perhaps I will shut this blog down once I receive my doctorate. Until then, I will practice. I will practice writing styles, or book reviews, or learning how to accurately air my thoughts. Perhaps in time my practice will get more technical. For now, I am merely putting words on paper - or in type.
What amazes me is that getting this blog started took a few seconds of thought. Where did I want to go with it, what kind of style did I want to use, what sort of things did I want to discuss here? (A brief thought about making this a World of Warcraft blog even entered my head.) But, now that I have begun, the possibilities are endless and I have so much that I want to discuss.
Ideas -
- I am pondering the pros and cons of the Amazon Kindle vs. Sony Reader. Ultimately the hope is that my prose will convince me to hold off on a purchase of either of these.
- I just read an interesting article on how amateur writers will convey their character is deep by making him/her a philosophy student at Harvard. I am intrigued with portraying a "deep" character who is a foreigner in my country with the inability of expressing many words yet still being portrayed as deep. Or, perhaps, making a character similar to Alicia Silverstone in Clueless - yet deep.
- I am pondering making it writing about my every day life. Making a journal of sorts. Therefore, I could come back and review my thoughts later in life. I could also come back and review my grammar and writing skills as the years progress. Well, I could do that part regardless.
- I could learn a new word and find ways to use that word in sentences.
- I could make this a blog with writing tips and techniques. Perhaps I can focus it on common spelling or grammatical errors. This concept makes me nervous because my own blog will undoubtedly be a minefield of mistakes. Then again, I can't pass up the chance to correct folks with the common misspelling of ridiculous. I think it is the most misspelled word EVER.
In the end, this blog will likely encompass all of these things and more. The content is, perhaps, purposeless in one sense, yet will hone my writing skills in the end. So, I may blog here for the next decade while I work toward my degree and not once earn a dedicated reader. My ego will be bruised, but I will still be better for it.
And with that, I am hungry. I'm going to lunch.
Thus, though I was going to delve into the lack of purpose this blog may have for its readers, it certainly holds a purpose for me. The problem was to identify its purpose. I am interjecting here that I am slightly horrified by the fact that my first blog entry is indeed a "welcome to my blog" post, but I require it in order to find my own direction. I hope to one day become an English professor for a university. The prestige of this university or my tenure do not matter to me. My career happiness does.
Thus, I am beginning this blog to practice my writing. I have several years of study ahead o me, and I hope to blog throughout all of these years. Perhaps I will shut this blog down once I receive my doctorate. Until then, I will practice. I will practice writing styles, or book reviews, or learning how to accurately air my thoughts. Perhaps in time my practice will get more technical. For now, I am merely putting words on paper - or in type.
What amazes me is that getting this blog started took a few seconds of thought. Where did I want to go with it, what kind of style did I want to use, what sort of things did I want to discuss here? (A brief thought about making this a World of Warcraft blog even entered my head.) But, now that I have begun, the possibilities are endless and I have so much that I want to discuss.
Ideas -
- I am pondering the pros and cons of the Amazon Kindle vs. Sony Reader. Ultimately the hope is that my prose will convince me to hold off on a purchase of either of these.
- I just read an interesting article on how amateur writers will convey their character is deep by making him/her a philosophy student at Harvard. I am intrigued with portraying a "deep" character who is a foreigner in my country with the inability of expressing many words yet still being portrayed as deep. Or, perhaps, making a character similar to Alicia Silverstone in Clueless - yet deep.
- I am pondering making it writing about my every day life. Making a journal of sorts. Therefore, I could come back and review my thoughts later in life. I could also come back and review my grammar and writing skills as the years progress. Well, I could do that part regardless.
- I could learn a new word and find ways to use that word in sentences.
- I could make this a blog with writing tips and techniques. Perhaps I can focus it on common spelling or grammatical errors. This concept makes me nervous because my own blog will undoubtedly be a minefield of mistakes. Then again, I can't pass up the chance to correct folks with the common misspelling of ridiculous. I think it is the most misspelled word EVER.
In the end, this blog will likely encompass all of these things and more. The content is, perhaps, purposeless in one sense, yet will hone my writing skills in the end. So, I may blog here for the next decade while I work toward my degree and not once earn a dedicated reader. My ego will be bruised, but I will still be better for it.
And with that, I am hungry. I'm going to lunch.
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